Sunday, October 16, 2011

Open Heart

The Stryker hospital bed is the same,
Though it is newer, same buttons.
Do all hospitals use Stryker beds?

Though the bed is familiar,
standing where I am is not.
I know what all the buttons do,
it's familiar but not comforting.
Like a lot of things I know:
the feel of the sternal saw,
the perils of anesthesia,
the blue angel hairs of 6-0 prolene suture.
Familiar, and shockingly not comforting.

For all the things I know,
I am still not prepared
when the orderly stops us,
"time for last minute hugs and kisses."
Not prepared to lean over my dad,
not quite Dad without his glasses,
and say goodbye and good luck.
Not prepared for the break in his voice
as he says he loves me and he'll see me soon.

I know what transpired
behind those automated doors,
but how they cut him open,
and made him whole again,
back to bespectacled Dad,
that I will never understand.

16 October 2011

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